For Jan’s memorial service, our family decided to pack up a SUV rental and drive the almost 800 miles to Atlanta, GA. We figured that for the price that Melvin would’ve had to pay to fly, might as well take the entire family on a road trip. Sure, it was going to be just as expensive and it would take much longer to get there, but we felt it was important to be with family as a family.
Prior to this trip, the longest road trip Avery had gone on was 3 hours to MD. He does really well with being in his car seat for a long time, but 14 hours might be stretching it, so we decide we’d split the drive into 2 days. We would leave PA on Wednesday, stay in the ATL through Saturday, then leave for PA on Sunday.
Day 1 - Wednesday, June 4
We finally leave PA around noon. The weather was yucky - warm and humid with severe thunderstorm warnings coming from the south. Great. So we’re meeting up with severe weather. Just splendid. I told Melvin to prepare to take over the driving in case of inclement weather. That’s right, among the many phobias I have, included are thunder, lightning and really heavy rain.
For this drive, we were taking the 76W -> 81S -> 77S -> 85S way. Our stopping point was a Hampton Inn in Roanoke, VA (ETA 8p) with a lunch/dinner stop wherever we happened to be when we got hungry.
Well, hunger and nostalgia set in around 4:30 p. Melvin saw a sign for Shoney’s somewhere in VA and we just had to stop there! We really just had to!
Inside, the nostalgia kicked in full-force. Melvin talked on and on about how he and his family always stopped at a Shoney’s during their trips down south, and about how he and Joseph would always get the same thing: French toast sticks with a heaping pile of tooth decay and diabetes, er, something that resembled strawberry in a whole lotta strawberry-flavored syrup.
And so you know he just had to have a plate, right? I kindly declined because I figured, I’m doing a good enough job by myself accelerating my inevitable arrival at diabetes’ door without the help of Shoney’s, thank you very much. By the way, Melvin wasn’t the only one who enjoyed the stop 
Ok, so on the way out, I pick up a coupon book for hotels in the area to see if maybe there was one for the Hampton Inn. None. But hooold up, wait a minute, there’s one for a HoJo for $39.99/night! With reserved enthusiasm, we call the place to find out the dealio. Free WiFi! Free HBO! Free Breakfast! Basics were covered, so we decide to give it a try. How bad could it be?
I’m still traumatized from the whole experience and to protect me, my mind is trying to actively block out our stay there so I have no remembrance of the occurrence. All I have are images that quickly flash in and out of my head: the truck with the confederate flag license plate in the parking lot, the 1982 Cadillac Seville limousine reserved for hotel VIPs, the elevator that smelled like death, the sticky carpet, the mold on the bathroom walls, the menagerie of questionable characters who loitered the halls.
Yes, we could’ve left, but we figured, it’s late, we’re tired, and we’re only going to sleep, so who cares about all the other stuff? We’re not going to die.
Or will we?
Come to find out, Melvin was scared to go to sleep because he had ideas in his head that the person(s) who owned the truck with the confederate flag license plate would break our door down and kill us. Well, I’m glad he didn’t share this with me until the morning because I swear, we would’ve been Audi 5000, g, with a quickness.
Disclaimer: Steps were taken to ensure that Avery was protected at all times from the organisms that were sure to be present in that hell hole. For instance, he was not allowed to walk on the floor without his shoes and his nose was covered when we rode the elevator.
