Meet Baby Jones

Mel: “Do you think that Avery is bad?”

Me: “No, I’ve always held the belief that children are born good. I’ve never believed in the Roman Catholic concept of being born with Original Sin.”

Mel: “I’m not even talking about that. I mean, when Avery does something that annoys you, do you think he does it to get on your nerves?”

Me: “At this age, no.”

Mel: “Ok, ’cause I just don’t get how (insert female name) yells at her daughter for doing things she doesn’t mean to do. Promise me we’ll always treat Avery with patience and kindness. We have to do that.”

I then got to thinking: I mean, Melvin is right in theory. The practicing it part is difficult. I wish I could always have perfect mom moments with Avery, but the fact that I spend at least 75% more time taking care of him puts me at higher risk to be impatient and unkind at times.

As a matter of fact, I have yelled at Avery in frustration. I felt dumb afterwards because he didn’t do anything but laugh at me, but that’s because he doesn’t know any better. By the way, it doesn’t make me proud that I am already yelling at my poor boy this early in the game.

But I think that is a major part of why I yell at times. Because I think that he doesn’t know what it means.

Or does he?

I guess we won’t know until he’s old enough to write in his journal or tell his therapist that he hates me because I yelled at him when he was an infant.

Ok.

Fine.

No more yelling.

I promise.

One blustery winter day, a man stood outside shivering, wearing nothing but a tattered T-shirt made of paper.

A passing stranger wearing a warm, wool sweater stopped and offered help.

“It’s really cold out here. You okay?”

“Of course I’m okay,” replied the man in the paper shirt. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I just thought you might be cold. If you need a sweater or something, I can show you how to get one.”

The man in the T-shirt suddenly became defensive: “Why would I need a sweater? My parents gave me this shirt as a kid and told me it would protect me in any weather.”

“It’s just that I saw you shivering. I thought you might still be cold,” the sweater man replied.

“This shirt has mystical powers that you couldn’t possibly understand! Who are you to question it? It keeps me warm in sub-zero temperatures and cool during the summer. It’s all I need.”

“Gosh, it’s starting to rain now. I mean, your shirt is falling apart. Really, I don’t mind loaning you my sweater if you want it.”

The man in the paper T-shirt became outright hostile.

“You’re one of those crazy Sweater People, aren’t you?! I was warned about your kind! I heard that your type is a slave to the temperature and that you go on and on about how cold weather affects people. I told you, my mystical T-shirt is all I need!”